Obama Informs Public: “Federal Government is an elaborate April Fool’s Joke”

Obama to Americans: “You’ve all been had.” 

In a stunning announcement today, President Obama informed the American public that the United States federal government is nothing more than an elaborate April Fool’s joke.

Four Presidents“Let me be clear,” the president stated for the 729,841st time in his presidency, “The federal government is, and always has been, an elaborate April Fool’s joke.  It’s quite possibly the most successful April Fool’s joke in history, but that’s about as far as it goes.”

Standing behind the president, current Vice President Joe Biden doubled over in a fit of laughter and started slapping his knee repetitively.

“The debt, Obamacare, the NSA, it’s all a big joke.  Heck, the Great Society, the New Deal, Social Security, they’re all part of it.  It took a lot of careful planning and deliberation to execute on this one, but decades of committed politicians, judges, and bureaucrats made it happen.”

At this point, former president George W. Bush, who was also in attendance, yelled out a “Yee-haw!” adding “Don’t leave me hanging, Bubba!” as he raised his hand for a high-five with former president Clinton.

To calm their exuberance, the president did note that it wasn’t always easy keeping the joke a secret.  His eyes widened as he said, “Boy, that Snowden fellow really almost had us there!  We had to chase him off to Russia in order to keep you all guessing.”  The president also noted how he tried to drop hints every now and then, pointing out that healthcare.gov was the biggest one.

“There’s a fine line between setting up a flawless punchline and giving away the joke too early.  I admit, I was dancing with that line when we launched healthcare.gov.  The funny thing is that there were some people out there who thought it would actually work.  We can’t make crap like that work.”

Responding to questions about betraying the trust of the public, the president said, “It’s all in good fun–I just want people laugh.”  When further pressed on the issue, particularly on the fact that this was a joke that has cost trillions of dollars over the past three decades alone, the president said, “You know, some jokes are not worth the cost, but this joke definitely doesn’t fit that category.  Part of the fun was in seeing how long we could continue to dupe everyone!”

When asked about what was next in store for the president, he said he hadn’t thought about it much, but mentioned something about naming a library and writing some kick-butt memoirs about how he is one of the funniest pranksters in history.

Obama Laughing